Bird Attack/Pants Distress
Today, as I was biking to my friends place, a flock of birds suddenly passed over me. As they did they decided to poop. Simultaneously. Here’s the uncensored reaction list:
1: Look at pants. Thought: “NOT DELICIOUS!”
2: Shit. I’m on a bike… why am I looking at my pants?!
3: Look around, did anyone see me getting peltered with birdshit? (no, thank god)
4: SHIT. I’m still on a bike… why am I not looking at the road?!
5: Pretend it’s not there or hide? (Hide)
I pulled over and managed to clean myself to the point of felling ok with walking in public areas. Using leaves from a nearby bush.
What do you do when you suddenly stand in the street, covered in shit? It takes so little to peel away the “normal person” skin we all don when leaving our secluded private spaces. Some times the border between private and public feels like a papercut. There’s no transition. It’s like the 0 and 1 of binary.
Also: this is a hattrick of pants-related incidents since doing laundry last week. I might have to face the posibility that I need more pants.