Bird Attack/Pants Distress

Today, as I was biking to my friends place, a flock of birds suddenly passed over me. As they did they decided to poop. Simultaneously. Here’s the uncensored reaction list:

1: Look at pants. Thought: “NOT DELICIOUS!”

2: Shit. I’m on a bike… why am I looking at my pants?!

3: Look around, did anyone see me getting peltered with birdshit? (no, thank god)

4: SHIT. I’m still on a bike… why am I not looking at the road?!

5: Pretend it’s not there or hide? (Hide)


I pulled over and managed to clean myself to the point of felling ok with walking in public areas. Using leaves from a nearby bush.

What do you do when you suddenly stand in the street, covered in shit? It takes so little to peel away the “normal person” skin we all don when leaving our secluded private spaces. Some times the border between private and public feels like a papercut. There’s no transition. It’s like the 0 and 1 of binary.

Also: this is a hattrick of pants-related incidents since doing laundry last week. I might have to face the posibility that I need more pants.


One response

  1. Sanne

    Dear me. And they say birdshit brings luck… I suspect someone made that up to feel better after just having been shat on.
    Didn’t know you had a blog – or that you’re an insomniac too, for that matter. Seems like a good combo. I want.

    July 30, 2011 at 04:17

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