I’m never comfortable around birthdays. In my early 20’ies I learned to enjoy them by throwing grand theme parties thus entertaining my friends and myself (and hopefully distrac everyone enough as to not start SINGING). I don’t like being the center of attention when I don’t feel like I’m earning it (being born does not constitute earning it). After venturing into the late 20’ies I’ve taken to just spending time with family and friends. The birthday becoming an excuse to take time for a cosy one-on-one. This year I will be spending the evening with Lasse and Adrian. I will play Puzzle Quest II on their console, relax and enjoy their company.
Tomorrow I’ll be 28 years old. People tell me I look like I’m 22 (19 if we’re in a bar and he’s drunk). I still play a multitude of computer games, I paint miniatures and my favorite t-shirt is purple and has a Star Wars print. I have always wanted to be a “grown up”. Each year I expect something magical to happen. There’s something that tells me I need to use the computer for spreadsheets (that does not relate to EVE), paint my summer house and wear black sweaters.
That said I do notice some things. I don’t like going out as much as I used to and I get hangovers now (did I ever like it?). I’m using a calendar (though I drew it myself on a large piece of paper). I have a job. I’m starting to think of people who can legally vote as “kids”. Speaking of kids I also some times think of having some of my own. Though some people seem to think that I should skip straight to “grandmom”.
I don’t know why the feeling of being an adult continues to elude me. I don’t know why I have such a longing for it.
Pictures from various birthday parties: