An Old Poem
For my 25th birthday I recieved this from my dear Cheryl:
A POEM FOR PRINCE IASON
There was once a young prince from a land far away,
of the masculine type, cos I’ve heard that they say
that he wrestled with dungeons and dragons each day,
and frequented a jailhouse infested with bears
whom he skewered on a pole, then sent back to their lairs,
and concerned himself mainly with manly affairs;
that’s the gist of the things that they say.
So I don’t think the prince could be gay.
So although I confess he drank Cosmos not beer,
and when Pride came along, was a keen volunteer,
and he frequently swam in the skimpiest gear,
I don’t care that he boogied to seventies disco.
So what if he wanted to see San Francisco,
or, next to his bed, had a bucket of Crisco?
Oh, why do you get the idea
that our masculine prince might be queer?
Now, his father, the king, was a little irate
that he never took ladyfriends out on a date;
but preferred to retire to his room with a mate.
Why he holed up with boy-chums, he wouldn’t confide
(they were strangely dishevelled when coming outside)
so his Dad planned to buy him a mail-order bride,
and was sure it’d really be great.
For the prince was most certainly straight.
Now the princess arrived with intent to be wed
and peculiar buns on the sides of her head,
but alas, he was charmed by her brother instead.
With a ripple of muscles, Luke swung from his horse
and it seemed he was certainly using the force
(and his light-saber leapt into action, of course)
and the prince turned surprisingly red,
as he offered to show him his bed.
In a frenzy with envy, the princess was green;
for it seemed her fiance was not very keen.
She ran into the chamber and witnessed the scene:
she feared her fiance may soon be her ex
as the Jedi in bed was preparing for sex
so she ripped off her robe to show abs, glutes and pecs
all defined with a glistening sheen,
for the princess was really a queen.
Now our posturing prince was a bit of a player,
he saw the princess and he wanted to lay ‘er.
Poor Luke was ignored as they ran to the mayor.
The married at once then they danced in the square
then they feasted on sausage and similar fare.
The king thought they’d soon be producing an heir.
Now our hero is happy with Leia;
the pair of them couldn’t be gayer.
Oh sweetness, I do miss you 🙂