Today is Store Bededag. A day of generalised faith all over a country that’s more oficially Evengelical Lutheran but in reality more secular than most nations claiming to be. It has always been a source of amazement to me that states like the US, Russia and the Baltic/Eastern European area can claim to be secular states when religion has such a huge influence on every aspect and level of society. Why does a secular country require it’s president to take oaths in the name of God? Seemingly identifying religious influence over politics as “values” is like a magical charm that dispels the paradox. A secular state governed on the basis of Christian values? Bah.
Rants aside – in non-secular Denmark where 5% of the population actually practice their religion we eat wheat bread on this day of general prayers. Instituted because all the numerous holy days in the spring were making it difficult to get enough work out of the peasants. I decided to celebrate with ninja toast.
Really. Is this a pie, tart or cake? Around here we simply refer to it as an applecake but danish language is notoriously imprecise.
As I was discussing with The Randi one of the hardest things for me to do is to follow a recipe. My head is too disorganised and I have trouble doing, reading and mentally processing information at the same time. Learning how to cook has for me been a process of learning by heart how to treat different ingredients and then combinning the results. I can cook complicated dishes and I’m very good at improvising but throw in a vegetable I do not know and it all falls to pieces.
I’m a Sorcerer not a Wizard (thank you D&D for making it possible to reduce this long explanation to a short statement).
One of the things that helps me is to slowly and steadily measure out all of the components (which is why you see so many pictures of things arranged on my chopping board) and arrange them in groups corresponding to what has to be prepared together. Then I arrange these groups in the order they have to be prepared. It’s a very visual process for me. Eventually these images become second nature and I can just start cooking.
Fastelavn is – to me – mostly about kids freezing their ass off in costumes. But it is also about Lasses Fastelavn-rolls. It’s a sweeet roll with a creamy substance in the center and liquid sugar on top. Delicious.
Mitch draws bad penises (Mitch never says “dick”).
The Oreo. The best selling cookie in the United States (I’m practicing my dramatic introductions)
So recently I was hanging out at Lasse and Adrians place and Adrian expressed his malcontent. Lasse had, in fact, just been to the States and neglected to bring home delicious Oreo variations. As we all know there are countless variations on the Oreo. A multitude of different tastes, shapes, sizes. As though there existed an unstopable Oriditas force driving a delicious evolution towards either uncompromising circular perfection or blissful, endless variety.
But why then, Adrian demands to know, is it only possible to get the classic Oreo here in Denmark? Why do you need to go to Argentina to have the banana cream Oreo? Why are only the Canadians privy to the coconut oil Oreo? The answer is as sinister as the cookie is desireable: Oreos are like vampires.
Even the most common Oreo will recoil from crusifixes and other items of the faith (or it would if it wasn’t an inert cookie). Some Oreologists speculate that Oreos does not cast a reflection but since it’s impossible to carry one all the way to a mirror without eating it first this is hard to prove or disprove empirically. Most importantly however: Oreos cannot cross running water. As such all Oreos must be produced in local factories making the supply of the cookie of cookies somewhat unpredictable. Especially in thinly populated regions where investment in a huge Oreo infrastructure is less lucrative this can be a problem. Does Oreos drink the blood of the living? No. Although, since the exact Oreo recipe is a well kept secret, the blood of the living may or may not be an important ingredient.
Recently new advancements in space technology has given Oreo craving individuals cause for hope as the consensus on the last great summit of Oreologists was that Oreos may bypass the constriction on transport if it is taken into orbit and moved across oceans, rivers and local streams in space. Proeminent Oreo experts have concluded that while it is too early to celebrate free access to all Oreos for all humankind there is no doubt that the future of man and Oreokind lies in space.
This weekend my mother and I had to come up with some food that was “typical danish”. I’m never sure what to mention as an example when asked about what I consider typical danish food. Potatoes, creamy sauce and meat is what is considered “good, old fashioned food”. But it’s not really like we eat that constantly.
I think that danish people like to cook at home. We like to learn to how to do dishes from other cultures and we like to get inspired and mix them together. There’s a new movement exploring the raw materials present in Scandinavia (famously spearheaded by Noma) and how to create new dishes inspired by those but that’s not traditional. Anything but. Truth is, or so I believe, that “traditional” or “typical” danish food is, in itself, really boring. Solid food. Good for when you work hard in a cold climate. An anachronism.
Still. When pressed we can come up with some interesting ideas. This is a slice of rye bread with a salad mixed of beet leaves, ruccola and spinach leaves. A fried flounder on top. Further on top of that we have some mayonaise, shrimp and parsley. Before eating it you pour juice from the lemon slice onto the fish.
Jeg må for alvor være ved at blive gammel. Jeg kan ikke huske hvornår jeg sidst læste noget på Modkraft.dk som jeg kunne relatere til. Med det mener jeg at Modkraft er fantastisk gode til at skrive om vigtige og spændende emner som ganske givet fortjener mere opmærksomhed. Men efter første afsnit har jeg det som om jeg bliver hægtet af og den såkaldte queerpolitiske maskine sætter i gang og overdøver alting.