Posts tagged “USA

Lake Doom

Pity the unsuspecting inhabitants of Saint Mary, Florida. It’s there. Waiting.

LakeDoom

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General Prayers

Today is Store Bededag. A day of generalised faith all over a country that’s more oficially Evengelical Lutheran but in reality more secular than most nations claiming to be. It has always been a source of amazement to me that states like the US, Russia and the Baltic/Eastern European area can claim to be secular states when religion has such a huge influence on every aspect and level of society. Why does a secular country require it’s president to take oaths in the name of God? Seemingly identifying religious influence over politics as “values” is like a magical charm that dispels the paradox. A secular state governed on the basis of Christian values? Bah.

Rants aside – in non-secular Denmark where 5% of the population actually practice their religion we eat wheat bread on this day of general prayers. Instituted because all the numerous holy days in the spring were making it difficult to get enough work out of the peasants. I decided to celebrate with ninja toast.

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Oreontation

The Oreo. The best selling cookie in the United States (I’m practicing my dramatic introductions)

So recently I was hanging out at Lasse and Adrians place and Adrian expressed his malcontent. Lasse had, in fact, just been to the States and neglected to bring home delicious Oreo variations. As we all know there are countless variations on the Oreo. A multitude of different tastes, shapes, sizes. As though there existed an unstopable Oriditas force driving a delicious evolution towards either uncompromising circular perfection or blissful, endless variety.

But why then, Adrian demands to know, is it only possible to get the classic Oreo here in Denmark? Why do you need to go to Argentina to have the banana cream Oreo? Why are only the Canadians privy to the coconut oil Oreo? The answer is as sinister as the cookie is desireable: Oreos are like vampires.

Even the most common Oreo will recoil from crusifixes and other items of the faith (or it would if it wasn’t an inert cookie). Some Oreologists speculate that Oreos does not cast a reflection but since it’s impossible to carry one all the way to a mirror without eating it first this is hard to prove or disprove empirically. Most importantly however: Oreos cannot cross running water. As such all Oreos must be produced in local factories making the supply of the cookie of cookies somewhat unpredictable. Especially in thinly populated regions where investment in a huge Oreo infrastructure is less lucrative this can be a problem. Does Oreos drink the blood of the living? No. Although, since the exact Oreo recipe is a well kept secret, the blood of the living may or may not be an important ingredient.

Recently new advancements in space technology has given Oreo craving individuals cause for hope as the consensus on the last great summit of Oreologists was that Oreos may bypass the constriction on transport if it is taken into orbit and moved across oceans, rivers and local streams in space. Proeminent Oreo experts have concluded that while it is too early to celebrate free access to all Oreos for all humankind there is no doubt that the future of man and Oreokind lies in space.


Victory

An example of how big issues have a profound effect on individuals. That is something I always try to remember.


Vote No

I am sharing Mitch’s message with you both because I hope someone who will actually vote on this issue will see it but also because I think his message is something everyone should hear.


Important


Girlyscouts

This video, which has now been removed, showed us a young girl explaining why transgendered kids has no place in the GSUSA (Girl Scouts). The organisation allows transgender girls to join and is, in the video, accused of trying to keep this a secret.

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